If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
