One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
