you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
