The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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