Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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