In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
