im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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