I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
