My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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