I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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