She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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