Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Randomize
