Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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