Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
