arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
