remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
