mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize