I can't watch pbs sober anymore
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
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