he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
