your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
