yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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