Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize