sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
