my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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