So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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