Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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