i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
