Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
