I intend to get homeless drunk
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
