your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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