STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
