it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
