U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
