I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
My feet surprised me
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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