Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
