UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
