just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
