Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
birth control should be required to get into college
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
