ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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