Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Randomize
