Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
