but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize