Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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