Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize