I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
