i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
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