Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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