OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
