I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
