As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
