A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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