Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Randomize
