I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You took a bar mat shot.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
