I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
