mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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