So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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