She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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